Being gracious with myself

I love how everything in life I must go through, leads me back to Him,

Even in the midst of my trials, His grace and mercy causes me to break out in melodious hymns. 

Now that I have “awakened”, I see that He alone is truly righteous, loving, and fair.

And in His desire to help me, He works out my every care. 

I’m aware now more than ever, how forgiving He is to me. 

But I see how, in contrast, others use fear to try to enslave me. 

And yet, with a heart free of malice, envy, and strife

I will show everyone the mindset that will carry me through the rest of my life…

It matters not the form of manipulation, 

Nor the lies against me, that harms my reputation. 

It matters not who may secretly envy me, 

And seem to support me while they spread false speculations. 

It matters not who thinks they’re better than me, 

Nor those who try to control me through intimidation. 

What matters is my heart! And how pure God has willed it to be.

It matters how I handle every trial,

(Waiting patiently for God to step in and make everything worthwhile). 

I have decided to live rightfully, being peaceable with all men.

For it has been 19 years since God called my name, and chose me to be His friend. 

I will walk humbly before Him, in submission to His will.

But boundaries must be made to protect myself against those that overtax me because of my skills. 

Yes I’ve been walked over, by some of the ones I’ve loved most. 

Because I was “green” & “naive”! I was altruistic to the utmost. 

I have learned how to be respectful, without taking on another’s responsibilities 

I understand that it’s okay to say “No” at times though I am known for my docility. 

Some may not like to hear that word from me, for I’ve simply said “Yes.” For so many years..

But I must protect myself from those, who disregard my limits and my tears. 

This feels so new to me, to actually think in this way…

To allow myself grace, self love ❤️, and peace of mind each day!